What You Can Learn From Your ‘Arsch-Engel’ (and it’s not what you think…)

Do you have an ‘Arsch-Engel’? I do. Sometimes, I have more than one at a time.

‘Arsch-Engel*’ are omnipresent. You can meet them at the office, at home, on the street-anywhere.

Are you wondering what an ‘Arsch-Engel’ is?

It’s an expression I came up with in German. One day someone infuriated me, and this expression popped into my head as I was finding a way to work through my feelings.

‘Arsch-Engel’ are those people who make you furious, who really annoy you, who you despise, or those who hurt you most deeply, because you love them.

We all have them.

They’re not what you were thinking. They’re not Arch Angels, they’re Ass Angels.

If you’re wondering how someone so infuriating can be called an ‘angel’, let me explain…

Even if I could strangle my ‘Arsch-Engel’, I respect, appreciate and love them very much. They show me what I’m struggling with unconsciously, and what screams inside me demanding to be solved.

Here are some examples of ‘Arsch-Engel’ in your everyday life:

  • You’re confronted with someone at the office or at your private area who constantly belittles you. He believes he knows more than you and is better than you. He tells you what to do and how to do it. No matter how hard you try, your efforts are never good enough to please this Arsch Engel.
  • Or, there could be someone who makes you feel responsible and guilty for something that’s not your responsibility at all.
  • You get accused of behaving in a certain way, which is not true.
  • An ‘Arsch-Engel’ can be the annoying person who shoots into the last available parking space you have been patiently waiting for.


What is your ‘Arsch-Engel’ teaching you?

All the ‘cuddles’ your ‘Arsch-Engel’ gives you, are to teach you an important lesson:

Everything that annoys, angers or hurts you, concerns you.

It’s telling you to reflect on your inner world so you can learn, heal and grow.

Instead of getting upset with your ‘Arsch-Engel’, it is better to think about why his actions have troubled you. His actions are upsetting you because they’re probing unresolved hurts and issues within you.


How Do You Learn From Your ‘Arsch-Engel’?

  • Reflect

Take a few minutes to be quiet and reflect. Close your eyes and breathe in and out deeply.


  • Question

Ask yourself questions that will help you to reflect and get to the heart of the matter. Here’s a list to help you:

  • Why do I get so annoyed, or hurt or angry in this situation?
  • What does this have to do with me?
  • When have I felt these feelings before?
  • What are my ‘Arsch-Engel’s’ actions and my reactions telling me about what I think and feel about myself?
  • Who has treated me this way in the past?

You do not have to ask every question, just the ones most relevant to your situation.


  • Observe, acknowledge and affirm

As you go through the questions, close your eyes, inhale and exhale deeply, and listen to the reactions of your body.

You may recall a situation from your childhood. Or, a person shows up in your memory. Maybe more emotions arise.

Whatever it is, continue to breathe in and out, acknowledge it, and listen to what it is telling you.

Don’t push it away. The more you react and oppose the situation, the more the pressure and conflict will increase.

Let everything show up and affirm it by simply saying “yes” to it in your thoughts. Continue to do this until you feel a change within you. With acceptance, the situation begins to relax; the stress decreases and the cells of your body start to recover.


  • Re-visit your ‘Arsch-Engel’

From here, draw your attention to your ‘Arsch-Engel’ again.

Accept him as what he is. He is your ‘Arsch-Engel’, there to teach you. Nothing more, and nothing less. Continue your deep breathing and say “yes” to him in your thoughts.

Finally, check the situation that led to all of this. How do you feel now? Do you feel more relaxed, free? Maybe you can even laugh about it.

I encourage you to do this exercise. With some practice it will take a few minutes. A few minutes that will make your life easier, healthier, more relaxed and happy.

It’s worth it.


Your Turn

Do you have an ‘Arsch-Engel’ in your life who you are struggling to deal with?

If you need help to deal with your ‘Arsch-Engel’ and uncover the lessons he or she is trying to teach you, please contact me. Together we will get to the root of the situation so you can accept him, learn from him and move to a more relaxed, stress-free state of mind and being. There’s nothing to fear. I will be walking alongside you, guiding and supporting you to find new freedom in your mind.

Time for New Beginnings!

Emotional Intelligence is learnable. It does not matter which level you are on!

I offer in-house trainings and open trainings and I look forward to hearing from you:

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*Please note: “Arsch Engel”- In German, the singular and plural form of Arsch Engel is the same. Whether there is one or many, “Arsch Engel” is still the correct way to refer to them.


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